So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
