It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
