What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Your penis caused this!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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