It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
