You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
