I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
This is the high leading the old right now
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
