Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
