Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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