I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
