i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
