the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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