my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We're too hungover to prance.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I love you. Go after that dick
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
