Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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