my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
