bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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