Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
