Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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