just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
