Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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