oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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