Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
