Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize