your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
