So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
