Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
