Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
