Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize