You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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