ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize