I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
try to milk me bitch
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
