oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
