if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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