I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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