So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
