Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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