Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
