you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
