I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
