"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
