fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
