And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize