hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
