Joe is yelling at the trees again.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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