Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
