he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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