508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize