We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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