How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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