So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
