I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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