Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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