to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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