umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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