You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
