I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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