I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
