I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
