Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
