so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
