Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize